i know it’s my fault, but i’m not sorry.

nobody said tests were easy
back in that block without words
could be, could be, the fun i've had
putting myself at risk at being labeled:
insane

sometimes my desire
to regress trumps
the big disease
between us

the one i never judged you for
what have you done to cure me?

when i had a fever
voices screeched
bicycle wheel
stasis

doldrumming
brains damage
cancer of rhythm
i started to wonder
will i everyday forget?

carelessly caring less
about you, milky blue eyes
your weakness of projecting anger
for one full fucking week, cause you...
cause you missed me? you said, but i think
you hate my guts sometimes, did you know that?

that bitch is only 26
my current idol and muse
all that happens with age
is misery strips all shame
cause nobody's galloping
to rescue me on horse

my knight is an air-tight pussy
dreaming of deep sea diving
when i'm drowning, he's
diverted by stained
glass sea-anemones

my pink tips reach lazily

wavering sun makes it to the bottom
he's elevating up to his makeshift raft
he'll arrive safely at regret and avoidance

i know how to speak without profanity, you know
it's a choice, when i cut meat, i use a sharp knife
i'm an anemic, there's no time to waste being civilized

i don't care anymore
satisfaction guaranteed
when gloved hands stretch
and create skin scrolls
seductively traceless

cracking exciting thunder
are the stiff knuckles
releasing ball from
rusty old chain

you scratch electric
when you're bored
down my bark

nobody is aware
of the storm

want is waxing
freezing like
doe lashes
in sub-
zero

i have nothing left for you anymore.

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