late bloomer (originally written 10/27/2010)

pure joy burns away slow
it kicks and screams mad
blows smoke in your face

please don’t bury me alive
i know you still want to play
it’s like, at first you fake it
but then you get comfortable

you look in the mirror and see
the most boring person you ever met

your
self
as
an
adult

those of us that weren’t paying attention-
oh my god were we surprised when we looked up

are you fucking kidding me?

ugh

people do drugs
so they can feel
so they can feel
like a kid again

**”author’s” note: i feel like this poem is mediocre, because i normally write in a different style – but it does accurately represent the core of my feelings on a general level in a reasonable “language.” i normally like to hunker down in the vacuous reeds of dreams and express snapshots of a vision, tear it to shreds, burn it up, and collect the ashes to rebirth it with water and sun. “growing up” is a huge muse of mine, and her relentlessly essential beauty (pain) impregnates me with words most days of the week (weak). i think this was a madly-genius idea for dVerse, even though my poem is a little blatant for the taste buds of my pen.

20 thoughts on “late bloomer (originally written 10/27/2010)

  1. ha….that may be one motivation…that and escaping the responsibility that comes with it as well….it is hard to see ourselves as adults…and deadly to think us as our parents as welll….and then it happens…on some levels at least….the grey hair, wrinkles…life, go figure…

  2. Really interesting poem. It gave me a sense of having to, or having realised, that we have grown up too quickly. I seems that in life sometimes, that our childhood innocence gets eroded by the adult so quickly. I thought this was really well constructed, and definately engaging, had me pondering and asking questions

    • thank you. i feel like growing up is the most bitter-sweet endeavor in life. from ourselves, to our children or parents. it’s on my mind 80% of the time – how i dread it so, but wouldn’t have it any other way. we are mortal, after all… how many times i have looked at the faces of people my age on facebook and thought – dear god – cannot be counted rationally. one would need to sleep in order to get that far…

  3. Interesting thoughts here. I still wonder at what age a person is really ‘grown up.’ Mirrors, be damned. LOL. I think as long as we keep living we have room and time to continue to grow….and let’s just keep that youthful state of mind.

    In regard to your comment in my blog…ha…I love your city, am 100 miles north!

    • ok! i got it safely in the mix here… thank you for the comment! “growing up” is just some big issue i have. i think it’s a part of my never happy anxiety thing – even though i am actually quite happy. i don’t even know how to explain it. hahah. i guess that’s why i write! xoxo

    • yea, like, if you really think about yourself at, say, 9 years old, and how you perceived the age you are at now (at least this is how i think), it’s quite a trip. i guess that’s what i mean… like, i get it, appreciate it, and feel pretty great (i am a runner and endorphines seem to jolt me to that “feeling”) – but emotionally, i miss so many things of my previous lives within this life.

  4. growing up was always believing tomorrow would come, I must be still growing up because I still believe it !! my favorite lines :
    “pure joy burns away slow
    it kicks and screams mad
    blows smoke in your face”
    I enjoyed your take on this prompt!

  5. smiles…i think as kids we sometimes have this horror vision and only see the restrictions and responsibilities that come with growing up but not the freedom that comes with it as well…

  6. This is a strong piece of writing, in my opinion. The most boring person – my adult self – looking back at me in the mirror? I wonder if I would have thought my adult self boring if I knew the steps that would take me from the child I was to the person I am today? And adventure – I’m so looking forward to what life has for me just around the next corner. It might be pleasant, it might be difficult, but I sure hope it isn’t dull!

  7. It was a newborn decade. January of 1970 and I was in 4th grade. I remember being in my classroom after our Christmas vacation when the cutest boy in the class, David Faith, had done some math in his head which surprised him enough to speak out. “We are ALL going to be FORTY in the year 2000!” he exclaimed. I remember the look on his face and his wide-eyed stare as he thought about the absurdity of being 40. Other kids near him were shaking their heads no and saying,”Uh uh. You’re WRONG!” and with such vitriol! Well, I was standing there and did the math myself and said, “No! He’s exactly right! We are all born in 1960 so we WILL be 40 in 2000! Add it up yourself. He’s RIGHT!” Well, the fact is that yes, though David had done his sum correctly, I will never get over the fact that he never did turn 40 because he died in 1999.

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