watercolor veins – i hate me more than you do, baby

i deleted it, i know
cause my girl heathen
i lost late last summer

the association with her
made me sick, is all

she’s godly to death
and here now, 2 hours
traveling on night mares
i rode them to their fate
glue, a femme fly trap

i propel out-skinned
at the simplest slight

this fucking taxi cab

last night while attempting slumber
i found myself lucid, terrified, buried
just let go and then what? or fight hard
god, i don’t want to know, rabbit heart
everything’s static, i rolled, moaned

and… awake
made my choice
and why’d i do that?
i don’t wanna be here
crying at our dead ends
the perpetual hourglass

lakeside sand
through fingers

sun on his back
running 100 steps
just to please him
flip back over
please look
into me

i remember him telling me
my heart was weakening
yes, it’s worse for wear
but my breasts arch

to phantom lips

this isn’t a poem,
but a first hand account
of an experience i fouled
degolding faith, belief

last night i watched time
trickle down an orphan
life with wild foliage

i’m winterizing in
my tiny-little secret
brimming with quivers
until a smudge of opiate
renders the toxic plumes
highly irrelevant a while

away i go
just for once
without benzo
i’d have let go
at the hour of
un-known

maybe he should just
forget i cradle his souls
he may be way better off
i’d hand him eagle feathers
if i wasn’t so fucking selfish

she’s just around the corner
i feel her coming to him
i’ll be pitied as silly
embarrassing

as they woo

i’ll slink away like a snake

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